She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
