Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
