Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
