Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Randomize
