I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
