Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
