I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
