Midget sex pt 2 tonight
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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