I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
