I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
