Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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