Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
