Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
