walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
