Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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