Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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