he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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