Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize