Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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