how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
