I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
