Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my shit smells like andre
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Randomize
