Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
