dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
The beer is more important than you right now.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
i out mim tonsoeep
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
