he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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