8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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