woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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