Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
birth control should be required to get into college
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
