Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
