She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
