it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
