The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
