I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
