Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize