how hairy? two words: wookie tits
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
