one word: firstdatebathroomanal
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
