He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
