fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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