I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Terrible idea I love it
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
