There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
