One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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