He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Randomize
