Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
