just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
