Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
