Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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