OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
