Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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