his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
