I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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