I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize