Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry igobyzach hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(313): View more from Michigan

marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!

Fav 1 4227 1973
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(678): View more from Georgia

This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.

Fav 63 7386 1210
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(310): View more from California

Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake

Fav 8 2847 5889
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.

Fav 18 1089 4217
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(208): View more from Idaho

Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.

Fav 20 6655 1355
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(619): View more from California

he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house

Fav 3 3535 1035
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(419): View more from Ohio

More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.

Fav 6 3621 1237
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(913): View more from Kansas

My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.

Fav 0 715 446
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(307): View more from Wyoming

I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.

Fav 0 32 38
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